How can a mother loose her child? (bad mommy I am)

Trust me, I know all too good how it can happen because it happened TO ME! And worst of all, it took me over 5 hours to realize that my child was missing! How could this be? Am I that bad of a mother? Am I loosing it? What gives! Now before you start asking a ton of questions let me inform you that it....


...wasn't this one

BUT


It was THIS ONE!


Yes, that's right...Our big old Honey Bear decided to have a night out on the town Thursday night! What happen was after eating some supper and baking some goodies for our friends that will be coming here this weekend, my mom called me to see if Francesca wanted to spend the night. Of course Francesca's answer was yes...so up to Grandma's we went. Since it was only about 8PM when I left Grandma's to come back home, I figured I get our grocery shopping done, instead of doing it Friday morning. So grocery shopping is what I did! After an hour at the store, and the night sky being dark, I headed home. After putting away all the groceries and finishing up my baking, I went upstairs to put on my jammies and get ready for bed. When I walked into our bedroom, I turned on the AC and checked for Honey (he is usually in our bedroom or the living room). He wasn't there and I didn't think anything of it. When I went back down stairs, I finished cleaning up the kitchen and got ready to watch some TV. After sitting in the living room for about 5 minutes, I noticed that Honey wasn't there either. Now again, I didn't really start to panic. Sometimes, he gets behind the couch or hides upstairs in our spare room whenever we have a bad storm or some fireworks are going on (he doesn't like the noise and someone in our neighborhood has been lighting them off recently...all day long!). OK, after checking those places, and the rest of the house and still didn't find him (mind you, he is a 80lbs dog!) , I called our neighbors to see if they had seen him. As soon as my neighbor, Nancy heard what was happened, she jumped right into wanting to help. We meet outside and started the search. Up and down our street, alley way, and side streets...all the while calling out his name.. and still no Honey. My heart was breaking. I kept thinking...how did China trust me with one of their own...and are going to trust me again...when I can't even keep track of a 14 year old dog, who is such a loving, easy-to-care for, lazy dog that is my baby! How might I ask? (I must have said this about a hundred times to Nancy while we were searching for him too). Anyway, after going around the block for the second time, I told her that I was going inside to go call the police to see if they knew anything. (my biggest fear was not of him being hit by a car, but someone seeing what a wonderful dog he is and keep him for themselves). Anyway, after talking to the police, I did find out that they did pick up my dog who was laying on someones front porch about 1/2 block from our house. The officer said she dropped him off at the Humane Society and I should call them in the morning to make arrangements to pick him up. Now mind you, it was now after 11PM at night...so morning it would be!

9AM this morning I was at the Humane Society to bring Honey home. All the employees couldn't stop talking about him to me... all saying what a wonderful boy he was and how much he seem to be missing home. By 10AM, we were both back home...safe and sound.

I can't tell you what I was feeling throughout this whole mess! I can't begin to tell you how happy and relieved I was to hear that the police did pick up Honey and he was being taken care of...and I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it feels to have him home.

I still am not sure what happened. I am not even sure when I left him outside in the yard (he only goes out after he eats...so I am thinking it was about 4:30PM....but something inside me is telling me that I let him back in. Oh, and another thing...our yard is fenced in...so what happened)!

Now, that part about being a bad mommy....According to the HS, he arrived at their office at 5:30PM and I didn't notice he was missing until after 10PM....THAT'S 5 HOURS! 5 HOURS and I didn't notice that my dog wasn't around. I feel awful! And the best part of this whole thing is I can't remember when I let him outside! I know I am just beating myself up, but how can a mother loose her child! (I guess the answer to that one is...just ask me!)